The good, the bad, the situation

I am now and have been at home in San Diego and off the ship for the past two weeks. I left the Carnival Paradise with vocal issues on July 30th, unable to sing, practically unable to speak and quickly approaching what would've been my second bout of Laryngitis.

It was then that I made an executive decision: It was time to take a closer look at what was going on in my voice box. After all, up until then (and since being on the ship), my voice had been raspy, unhealthy and never above 70% of it's best.  So I approached the Ship Doctor who, after bearing witness to my frequent visits and evident and ongoing vocal un-health, gladly sent me to San Pedro to visit the ENT.

It was then that I was diagnosed with a microscopic vocal nodule on my right vocal cord and severe swelling of the larynx, due to overuse and exhaustion.
The doc prescribed me two weeks vocal rest off the ship (meaning little speaking and absolutely no singing or performing).

At that point, i thought two weeks was all i needed, so i was confused as to why they made me clear out my room, close out with the MSA (administration) and collect from Paymaster.  But I didn't make a stink. All i wanted to do was get away from the stage and rest my vocal cords.

After a week and a half of being back in sweet home San Diego, I was scheduled another appointment with yet another ENT in order to give me the 'Medical Clearance' that Carnival deemed necessary in order to get me back on the Paradise and back to performing.
 
However after he looked at my cords (through the nasal passage…it was comfy cozy) and I practically pleaded with him to let me back on the ship to sing, perform, love life and finish out my contract, he said, "i'm sorry, i just can't recommend that you keep performing at this time. If you want to sing for ten more years, which i assume you do (and he was right), you need to see a speech pathologist."

Who knew that i would ever need vocal therapy? Because I hadn't the slightest idea that was in my cards.

But here it is, three weeks off the ship and one appointment with the Speech Therapist later…and although there are a lot of negatives i could rattle off about my current vocal and emotional state, I really have to thank my lucky stars that i locked it up and asked to leave the ship when i did.

THE PRESCRIPTION (for up to 6 weeks of therapy):

-No talking [especially phone talking](unless ABSOLUTELY necessary)
-No singing. Period.
-No coughing/clearing the throat (this is a toughie for me)
-No caffeine
-No alcohol
-No Life.

Okay, that last one was not in the line up, but earlier today that is exactly how i felt.

It's a rather jarring and scary feeling when all of a sudden, all of the things you do to de-stress/take the edge off/relax are swiped from underneath your feet.

And it has forced me to reevaluate what i need to do in order to stay alive and sane during these next few weeks. (Jazzercise twice a day, reading, writing verse, watching all the movies/tv series' that i've not caught up on…spending a lot of time alone)
Because, let's face it: I love to sing. I love it more then anything. It makes me feel alive, connected, special, real, human, honest, happy, whole, unique…

AND i will do absolutely WHATEVER it takes to get my voice back.
If you know me, you know that it's more than just my voice. it's my soul.

Cheesy, maybe, but true.

SO wish me luck! And if you're in San Diego, and you ever want to have a silent lunch or a quiet dinner…well, you know where to find me :)

Allegrasings