Cruising - Chapter 7: The Fire Inside

When things go wrong in my life, I shut down. I disappear and remove myself from regular life's equation. I'm figuring out more and more that, although people might see this as unhealthy, it is the only way i know how to function and pull through. 

I think it's because I like being a good energy in other's lives. When people think of me, i want them to think "man, allegra makes us laugh and forget about the bad stuff in the world" or something along those lines. Or more along those lines than "man, allegra's a total downer."

Because as happy, blissful, full of energy and life as i can be, i get really down in the bad times. When i'm feeling blue, it's the polar opposite of my positivity. Deep, impassioned, sad sad sad. 

And why would i ever wish that on someone? 

Then of course people say "but it's not a bother, Allegra. When you're sad, we want to talk to you and help you through and be there for you...that's what friends are for"

And that's true. That is what friends are for. For sharing the bad times as well as the good. 

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) for them, that's just how i roll. I cry by myself. I hide away. i feel badness run it's course through my veins, i take a lot of long showers, I stop wearing makeup, i write, I sing,  i cry more and then I finish dealing with it. I return to equation smiling, laughing, refreshed  and ready to give people the best of me.

How do you deal with sadness in your life? Do you bottle it and pack it away until, like an erupting volcano, you eventually explode? Do you hide? Or disappear? Do you party and get drunk? do you surround yourself with people and things? 

What works? 

And what doesn't work? And if what your doing isn't working, then what about that?

Ponderings...just some things to think on. 

Love life.

Embrace your sadness in whatever way you need to in order to get through those valleys.

Embrace your happiness in whatever way makes those peaks the most worthwhile to climb.

Laugh, cry, shout, sing, dance when your alone.

See you next time

Allegrasings